Not an oubliette but similar
The times the men of the family used to
go deep sea fishing in the Gulf
& the other times they went
camping on small islands in Minnesota:
the times that I grew fiercely aware of my penis
& what it was supposed to mean
between my legs there flaccid like a wet sock
but I knew from talk around campfires with cousins
that it was to one day fatten, to become a sizeable portion of me.
I learned to carry it like a promise to myself;
later, like a promise I wanted to break,
like a hard carnivorous curse demanding
the meat of other people. To break.
Trading my virginity for his on Tuesday,
2002, as if we were going to remember each other
forever. When he didn’t bleed I felt cheated
& I stopped eating meat because
to want blood, it’s too much.
Let me love someone without perforating them.
Let me be that hole that they fall into.
Augury Introduces: Nicholas Hite is a 28-year-old attorney living in New Orleans with his vegan boyfriend, their blue-eyed dog, and a pet crawfish.
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